First a quick film review of Before Sunrise. It’s a film in which not much happens. It’s basically a couple of self-involved people in their early 20s talking to each other for two hours. My advice would be to watch this when you are as young as possible, while their conversations still seem profound rather than inane. I expect I would have enjoyed this much more when I was a student but I haven’t the patience any more.
Heading off on the multi-method journey to Wien Hbf (Vienna Main Station) I am struck again by how well signposted everything is – this way for exit, that way for U-bahn line X etc. Why can’t museums learn from this?
I get a nice bit of second breakfast in the OBB first class lounge at the station, then catch my train. There’s no first class, but I’ll cope. It’s less than an hour to Bratislava. When I get there, I have to catch a bus to the other station, where I’ll be departing from, and I want to leave my luggage at the second station. There are self-operated luggage lockers near the entrance but they require €5, and only in €1 or €2 coins. I buy some bake rolls from the kiosk next to the lockers, which probably gets most of its custom in this way, but I still don’t have enough coins. I wonder if the toilets will give change, but on my way to find out, I find a manned left-luggage place tucked away out of sight, where I can pay with a €5 note. They couldn’t have mentioned that at the lockers?
Unencumbered, I head off to check out the old town. Jan at the Absintherie told me that Bratislava was rubbish, but I thought he was probably being unfair because he is from Slovakia. But no, he was right. The part near the station is unprepossessing, as you would expect, with a few sub-Viennese buildings in poor repair interspersed with stinky drains and concrete flyovers. But when I got to the old town, it wasn’t all that either, and apparently the stag and hen do’s that have abandoned Prague have moved to Bratislava instead. There were groups of English blokes in an “Irish” pub, a group of screaming schoolgirls and a group of women with a novelty penis helium balloon. Classy.
After sampling the limited delights of the old town (see above) I looked for somewhere to eat. There was a place that had good reviews and one of the reviews said that the prices were reasonable, so I went in there and was shown to a table and given a menu. I looked at the menu and got up and walked out. They wanted €15 for a starter! In Bratislava! Fortunately there was a tram really near the restaurant that would take me back to the train station. I got off a couple of stops early to try and find a place I’d seen on the way called the Dungeon Pub, but it didn’t open until four. So I tried a little plain-looking, cash-only restaurant across the road. There were locals there and there was a limited menu, which was given verbally. The food was good – the chicken was melt-in-your-mouth. The wine was fine, if less dry than I like it. And the whole thing, including coffee, came to less than a starter at the other place
I definitely wanted to get the earlier train now (I had the option of 2pm or 4pm), so I went back to the station. When I got on my train, the first-class carriage was full of a party (and I do mean party) of drunk men. They were loud and rowdy but good natured. I tried to ignore them and watch a video to learn Hungarian but I could hardly hear it, and I kept getting interrupted, first for one of them to ask me something I didn’t understand, then for one of them to ask to borrow a pen, and then to offer me some homemade šlivovice!
I gave up trying to learn Hungarian and just talked to the Czech lads instead, who took it in turns to take a break from the rowdy heart of the party and come to talk to me in the comparatively quiet end of the carriage. I was introduced to Roman (the groom, for it was a bachelor trip), Matě (the English teacher and sensible one), Peter (the cute one) and the best man, who was absolutely steaming. Apparently he’s in charge of the trip. Good luck with that!
It made me feel like a girl again to have all these young men paying me attention, although of course they were all quite drunk 😂 And so what could have been the worst bit of the day turned out to be the best bit. And if I got a bit of beer spilt on me, I got off lightly compared to the carpet.
Things started to go wrong when I got to Budapest, though. I had sent a message to the apartments where I was meant to be staying, saying that I’d got the earlier train and could I please check-in earlier, but I didn’t get a response. So I went to Selah, which is the coffee shop run by my friend Misha’s church, where I had a not-very-nice coffee and said hello to a couple of her friends and colleagues.
After that I went round the corner to the apartments and figured out how to use the intercom system, but there was no one there. I tried phoning up the telephone number that was provided for them and it just cut out. I thought, “Oh well, I’m early,” and sat down to wait until 6 o’clock, the time I was supposed to check-in. Six o’clock rolled round but they didn’t turn up. I phoned a few more times – no joy. Eventually I called Booking.com because that was who I had made the booking through, and they said that they would contact the property for me and I’d have a response within 45 minutes. By this point I was sick of sitting on the pavement so I went round the corner to a restaurant, where I’m sure they thought I just wanted to use their toilet and run away, but in fact I had a glass of Georgian spirit (pronounced cha-cha, weirdly) and then what I thought was a snack, but turned out to be really quite a substantial meal, while I waited for the response.
Eventually the response comes: “Seasons Apartments cannot accommodate you due to .” But Booking.com said I could book somewhere else and they’ll pay me back some of the difference in price, so I booked a hotel literally a three-minute walk along the street, because by this time I was tired and wanted a shower. I’m in the replacement hotel now and it seems perfectly nice. And I’m very tired after three countries and a bachelor party in one day, so I am going to finish this and go to bed 😴
K C Murdarasi 
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