Hairless Alien Women

10 Oct

I have decided that adverts for women’s products, specifically depilitory treatments, are made be aliens.  Either that or they are made by people who have no contact with ordinary women and do not realise that the women who star in them are aliens.  Why do I think this?  They are all hairless before they start shaving!  Not a follicle in sight.

Now it could be that they removed their hair using some other method before they started filming the bit with the razor / epilitor / cream they are advertising.  But that wouldn’t make any sense.  They could better show the merits of their product by showing it removing hair, rather than being used in an hair-free environment.  No, it must be that the people who make the adverts do not realise that women naturally have hair on their legs and oxters.

So if they don’t know about hair, what do they think we use the product for?  Is it some kind of impractical but culturally embedded thing like like ties?  Ties, after all, don’t hold anything up and don’t clothe any part of your body that would otherwise be naked.  Or do they think women enjoy the sensation of shaving or eplilating.  (Further proof that these ads are made by hairless aliens is that claims about epilating being pain free would actually be true if you had no hair to start with.)

The only evidence I have been able to find comes from an Immac advert.  A woman, having used the cream a couple of days before, drops a silk scarf on her leg and it floats to the floor while her friend looks on in wonder.  So that must be the answer:  Using depliatory products preserves gravity around our legs.  If we didn’t use them, presumably our skirts would start to fly up.  If only preserving gravity were really painless…

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