Why I Hate iPhones

3 Nov

The Price

Around £500 for what is essentially a toy? (And don’t bother to tell me it’s a phone; yes, it phones, but you can get a model that does it better for a fiver.  For proof, look at any small child presented with an iPhone: It’s a toy.) But it’s not just the outrageous price of the handset, there’s also the running cost to consider. Normally you can negotiate with a phone company, especially if you’re a loyal customer, but not if you’re after an iPhone. Then they’ve got you where they want you. They can demand some huge monthly payment and, like an addict buying a fix, you’ll grumble, but you’ll accept it.

The Advertising

The problem with the advertising is that it’s so annoyingly good. They show you all the shiny new things the toy can do in the most simple and effective way, so that you don’t feel you’ve had the hard sell, you just feel that you really, really want it. I’m not immune to the covetousness it conjures up – but like Odysseus with the sirens, I make myself resist

The Evil Apple Behemoth

Once you have been drawn in by that siren song, Apple will make sure the pull you further and further into their clutches. You want to listen to music on your iPhone? To do that you will have to download iTunes. No simple drag and drop from your computer to your phone; instead you have to go into their shop and negotiate the fiddly, user-unfriendly interface. And then, of course, if you download any new songs they come in a format that can only be used on iPhones / ipods, no other music devices. The same goes for ebooks. You can read epub files on any book reader, and you can download the Kindle app for your phone or PC, but buy an ebook from Apple and you can have it on your i-device or nothing. All if which means, if you don’t want to lose all of the stuff you’ve downloaded, you’ll have to stick with iPhones forever.

Apps That Eat Money

Another sneaky lure to coax more of your disposable income out of your pocket are apps that are free to download, but require you to buy things to progress. That means you’ll be authorising payments in the heat of a game you’re trying to win – not conducive to sober judgement. Ok, this problem may not be confined to iPhones, and it has nothing to do with Apple – but it’s still very annoying!

Androids Are Better

When the original iPhone was released it was like nothing else, a totally new breed of phone. The adverts seemed like fiction so everyone flocked to see if it was really like that – and it was. Now, however, other companies have caught up. A good Android phone can do everything an iPhone can do, but without the annoying inflexibility, the ‘Apple-knows-best’ness of the iPhone. And they’re cheaper. And the contracts are more affordable. And you have a choice of various makes and models. Once the iPhone was evil but unique. Now it’s just evil.

And that is why I HATE IPHONES!

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