The Trials of Dyslexia

23 Aug

An hour or so ago I was idly considering whether, if there were a cure for dyslexia, I would take it. I’ve blogged about the joys of dyslexia before, but there are drawbacks, of course. In fact, it’s mainly a drawback, otherwise it wouldn’t be termed a specific learning disability (or whatever they’re calling it this week). This was brought home to me once again, very soon after my ponderings. I am currently supposed to be at an AGM but I forgot to leave something my husband needed before I departed, forgot my phone so I couldn’t even tell him, and so had to come home and miss my train. No AGM.

Forgetfulness isn’t exclusive to dyslexia, of course, and I don’t have conclusive proof that it’s even connected to my dyslexia, but I’m pretty sure it is. Dyslexia is a range of problems arising from faulty brain wiring (a rough description), mostly to do with reading and writing, hence the name dys – with difficulty, faulty; lexis – speech. These specific problems are usually associated with other ones, though, like clumsiness, forgetfulness and even difficulty following the plots of films (I kid you not). I have no difficulty with film plots, but I am forgetful, and my clumsiness drives me up (and very often into) the wall.

So why isn’t it an easy decision to choose a hypothetical cure for dyslexia? No more smashed glasses and chipped dishes, no more missed appointments. With a working sense of spatial awareness I might even be able to dance enthusiastically without the risk of knocking out anyone who came too close! If there were a cure for my lung diseases (two for the price of one) I would snap it up. If hayfever could be permanently cured I would take the injection or have the operation. There is a cure for short-sightedness, and I’ve had it: Thank you, Ultralase, I can now see. So why not dyslexia?

The thing is that dyslexia feels much more a part of me than any of these other conditions. Take away the sniffliness or the need to use an inhaler and I would be exactly the same person. My eyesight was bat-like, now it’s eagle-like, but it doesn’t affect who I am. If you changed the functioning of my brain, though, would that still be true? Who knows how many of the traits I think of as my own are in some way connected to being dyslexic? How much of who I am has been shaped by struggling with this range of problems, and how much of me would change if I didn’t have to struggle? If there were a way to try out a non-dyslexic life without committing to it, maybe that would be an option. But would the non-dyslexic me who made the final choice really be me, or would she make a different decision because she thought differently once she was eulexic? (No, that’s not a real word.)

Ok, this is getting excessively philosophical and could go on forever, but you see my point: It’s not a decision to take lightly. For the moment it’s purely theoretical and I can just sit on the fence, but if it ever became a real possibility, what would I choose? I honestly don’t know.


3 Responses to “The Trials of Dyslexia”

  1. George January 21, 2013 at 5:10 pm #

    Can I ask how long has it been since you had your eye surgery?
    I’m 33 yrs old and just realised after taking a test on a children’s dyslexia app. That I have that condition, but have been too ashamed to confront or even admit to having a problem and hid it well from others. The thing is this. I hit rock bottom last year and this made me cast my mind back to the point i can remember when my life started to decline, I can remember being absolutely focused, in the top table, happy and full of life. This time was in primary school say between 6 and 7 yrs old when things started to get tough i thought everyone was going through the same as me and they were more intelligent some how I gave up and god knows how I’ve got so far in life without not realising. At the point of my hitting rock bottom I had just had an abscess and needed root canal treatment the dentist drilled out the wrong tooth… Oh it goes on that was a saga in its self! However I went from being in charge of a building site having over one hundred contacts over a forty acre site I knew all the plots the stages they were at and so forth. After the dentist ordeal I crashed. I had become so forgetful I’d sit at my desk and be totally clueless, obviously I lost my position then I lost my wife and family. i think you’ll agree 2012 not the best year for me. I digress, I stumbled on some information on metal fillings and that they had the most toxic and dangerous metal on the planet which is mercury in them I researched this and found I had the symptoms (I had 12 to 13 of these fillings caked to my teeth. I know mine had mercury as I got one tooth taken out whole so I could conduct a test. In which I put the tooth in the microwave (in a jar) and sure enough the poisonous stuff spewed out mercury was definitely there! So I got them all removed. As the national Heath service whom put them in wouldn’t take them out. I had to pay privately to have this done at my own expense with no recompense. In doing so I packed in smoking as I no longer have that metal taste to disguise. My guts improved, I now exercise which I never did in the past, life is improving greatly apart from my eyesight, and difficulty with reading, writing and so on. Sorry for babbling I really only need to know if the laser eye thingamajig improves your function in that manor or should I remain behind the specs?

    • kcmurdarasi January 21, 2013 at 11:50 pm #

      Sorry to hear about your awful year. It’s been about five years. It’s not as life-changing as your fillings sound, but it is wonderful to be able to see. It’s particularly good when I go swimming or am staying somewhere without easy access to clean water (for lenses). Why not have a consultation and see what you think? Ultralase are very good and don’t put any pressure on you.

      • George January 22, 2013 at 1:18 am #

        Hi thanks for responding, that’s all I need to know, now its off to get the eyes zapped I go. Thanks again and all the best to you, George.

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